You Republican't Be Serious


Aargh! I can’t take any more of the political ads! If there’s one thing I can’t stand more than a Democrat in an expensive suit, riding in a private jet, on his way to a $2000 a plate dinner, it’s a Republican. Am I right?

When you boil it all down, Republicans are supposed to balance the checkbook after the Democrats get done helping those in need. But I don’t see any of that happening today. Today, we have Democrats handing the piggy bank over to giant health insurance corporations and Republicans threatening to auction off our National Parks to the highest bidder. (Hey Ted Cruz: Teddy Roosevelt was a Republican.)

A real Republican would be all for legalizing marijuana and selling it on the open market because it’s the fastest and easiest way to balance the budget. A real Republican would work with the other side to reach a compromise because that’s how adults accomplish their goals. And the last time I checked, a real Republican would rather be naked, dipped in honey and strapped to an ant hill than have the federal government tell her whom to marry and what to do with her own uterus. These guys today are not Republicans. They are corporate plants threatening to shut down our government and sue the President of the United States. I beg your pardon?!

As I’ve said before, the idea of isolating our representatives and leaving them to fend for themselves in an Escape from NY type scenario greatly appeals to me. It’s pretty obvious Washington DC is broken and no one is advocating for the people anymore. But this two-camps-one-direction trend is a sham. My husband thinks Boehner & the Boys should be tried for treason, and he voted for Bush One. (He also says we’re moving out of the country if the next presidential election is another Bush versus Clinton. To which I say: Buenos Dias, Mexico!)

I always vote. I can’t help it. It’s a Lucky-to-have-first-world-problems kind of thing and I can’t shake it. But I do understand the ennui of younger generations. Why vote for one side of the same coin, when the only change we’re gonna see is the occasional dime on the street. And I’m still undecided on Amendment 68, the horse track in Aurora owned by a casino operator from Rhode Island. Both sides make a valid point: on one hand, more money for schools is a good thing. On the other hand, it’s a local issue and I don’t want to decide some poor soul’s fate that already has the misfortune to live in Saudi Aurora. If I was a betting woman— oh, wait a minute, I am! I would guess that this issue has as many layers as a freakin onion and the money spent on the ads alone could make a Republican cry.

Meanwhile, back at the halls of Garfield County, we do know the whole story. A vote for Sullivan for County Commissioner is a vote to protect the Thompson Divide (a very real place for wildlife and water) from poisonous chemicals, i.e., fracking. But a vote for Jankovsky means: secret meetings with oil companies in Utah, ‘upgrades’ on County Road 117 to widen it, (why?) and a green light to giving away public land to the private sector.

Which reminds me, will you please do me a favor? Go get a twenty dollar bill (or more!) put it in an envelope, and send it to:

Colorado Wild Public Lands PO Box 590 Basalt CO 81621

Their mission is to “advocate for retention of public lands and access, and for the ecological integrity and true economic value of these public assets.”*

Basically, CWPL is trying to protect public land for the people, and keep it out of the hands of the private sector, e.g. Big Oil, Big Gas, Big Wigs in ladies underwear. Which, I thought, was the job of the Bureau of Land Management, but since our bureaucrats can’t seem to find their own asses with two hands and a flashlight, I guess it’s up to us.

“The government is us; we are the government, you and I.” –Theodore Roosevelt

* http://coloradowildpubliclands.org/

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